You’re Being Watched…

Here’s Why It Matters

What are they seeing when they see you?

(to listen to today’s Love Note, click here – time to listen is 10 minutes)

They’re watching you.

I bet you knew that already, right? I mean, with the digital age we’re living in, it’s becoming clear that the great Google and Facebook information gatherers know pretty much everything there is to know about us.

There’s even mounting evidence that good ol’ Siri and Alexa are eavesdropping on our conversations so that we can be better marketed to. The ramifications of that are huge, and a very important conversation that we need to have as a society.

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about today… I wanted to talk about different eyes that are watching you ALL the time…

Whose eyes?

The Eyes of Those Nearest and Dearest to You

What are they seeing?

Let’s start with your kids – if you’ve got them – because we all pretty much know this one. Your kids watch you. They’re little neurologically open sponges who pick up ALL your vibes.

Every day. Every minute.

Here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter nearly as much what you say to them as what you actually do.

You can tell them a million times to BE one way, but, if they see you daily BEing something else, that’s what they’re going to pick up and that’s who they’re going to BEcome.

For instance, if you tell them to control their anger and that life is good and we should be happy all the time, but you’re really a walking repressed rage monster (you know who you are…) because you’re way overloaded and tolerating far too much and desperately trying to be a ‘good girl’ who doesn’t blow up on everyone or set boundaries… well then, you can expect to see your little one become a raging monster as well.

Our Kids Mirror Our Unconscious Minds

Y’see, they don’t have the neurology for repression yet so they will express all of the emotions that you are trying to hide.

And that will trigger the crap out of you because the deep places in you will resonate with what they’re expressing. And those deep places will know what’s really going on.

We joke in NLP (but, y’know, not really joking) that your kids are your Unconscious Mind – they’ll mirror back to you exactly what is going on in there.

That’s why it’s so important that we clean up our stuff – on a regular basis – especially when we’ve got young kids because the cleaner we are, the cleaner they’ll stay.

Energetic house keeping, for the win.

But Our Kids Aren’t the Only Ones Watching…

You know who else is watching? 

Everyone.

• Your spouse.
• Co-workers.
• Employees.
• Clients.
• Peers.

All of them.

They’re all watching and unconsciously – if not consciously – learning all about who you are and what you think is the right way to live.

They’ll still assume that if you’re doing it, it’s the way you think it should be done. Even if you don’t think you’re living your best life and your most congruent self, they’ll still make the assumption that if

And what’s really on my mind today is the way that our employees and clients and potential clients see us behaving.

If you have an honest, ‘I do not want to kid myself moment’, are you proud of who you are being out in the marketplace?

Are You Proud of Who You’re BEing in the Marketplace?

Are you BEing the person that you would want others to follow?

The person who inspires and supports and lifts others up?

The person you know you’re meant to be?

Because I can guarantee that they’re watching. And learning. And judging.

When you show up as a hot mess.

Or you don’t show up at all because ‘stuff came up’.

When you’re huge one day and tiny the next.

Or you jump on every angry, indignant band wagon that makes its way across the social media streams.

And when you talk about people behind their back, or refuse to have necessary confrontations, or don’t slow down and take the time to really see and hear the person you’re speaking with.

They notice. They learn. 

And if they don’t feel safe around you, they’ll distance themselves to protect themselves from the fallout and shrapnel that accompany a ticking time bomb.

They’re watching us.

And I believe that, especially as Coaches, Leaders, and Owners, it’s important for us to show up as close to the person we’re meant to be as possible.

This isn’t something that happens overnight.

Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be Takes Time

It takes time for you to 1) figure out who you’re meant to be and then 2) move toward that person.

That’s the work that I’ve been doing with my clients (and myself) for close to 20 years now and I’ve gotta tell you…

… it’s the best work in the world. I think it’s also the most important work in the world.

But, it isn’t easy. It’s frickin’ hard. And it isn’t smooth. There are ups and downs and some days it feels like I’ve fallen back and lost as much ground as I’d ever gained.

(but that’s not really true… I am not who I used to be)

And it means digging in with my clients for the long-haul, because it takes time to re-arrange neurology and then make it stick.

When I first started with NLP, I was told – and totally believed – that we could FIX EVERYTHING with the snap of our fingers and magic would happen every which way.

And, to a large extent, that’s absolutely true. I have seen belief systems change, trauma released, and lives radically re-wired – all within a few minutes.

But, what I’ve also learned, is that it’s the day-to-day habitual how we show up actions and energy that determine whether we will succeed or fail. 

Success isn’t decided in the grand, huge, sweeping, ‘I’ll change everything’ moments.

Success is Created with Thousands of Small Decisions

We create success with the thousands of tiny, intentional, daily interactions and decisions we make to BE the person that we know we’re meant to be.

It’s why I’ve created The Seasons of Success (starting with Creating a Powerful PIVOT POINT and HARVEST) and it’s why I’m evermore focused on long-term, strategic planning and implementation coaching with my clients.

Quick fixes are fun and exciting and they sure give us a whoosh! of adrenaline but, ultimately, they’re not what moves us toward a successful destiny.

I’ve learned…

(isn’t it amazing that humans get to do that? learn, I mean. It blows my mind)

I’ve learned that it’s the discipline of getting on the phone each week, week after week, month after month, that truly allows my clients to build momentum and create change that sticks.

My People are World Builders

I want to work with world builders, trail blazers, and agents of light.

And that takes work. It takes commitment. It takes discernment and discipline and determination.

Those kinds of habits aren’t what our culture celebrates.

I’ve learned that they’re exactly what we need to win.

I like winning.

I like watching my clients win.

And I like the kind of world that we build when we become the kind of people that we’re meant to be.

So, yeah, they’re watching.

But, even more importantly, you’re watching.

You’re watching me, which means I need to continually step up my game to become all of who I’m meant to be.

And that’s my commitment to you.

But, you’re not just watching me. You’re also watching YOU.

Which means that you need to continually be stepping up your game to become all of who you’re meant to be, too.

And you’re not alone, I’m here to support you when you need it. It’s my Mission and my joy. Welcome to our little community of people who are making a real difference in the world.

Are you ready?

Let’s do this.

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Vanessa Long

Vanessa Long is creator of the Seasons of Success and author of Discovering Your Passionate Purpose. Focused on providing straight-forward, no b.s. solutions, strategies, and support to move you from where you are to where you yearn to be. It’s time to tap into your purpose and build a life that expresses all of who you were designed to be.