I Lost Control on Sunday…

What To Do When You Have a Meltdown

In this week’s soulpreneur video, I explain how to gather your messes + unfinisheds and process them to free up your energy and get back into flow and resonance with your desires.

You may not know this but one of the big reasons I make these videos and do the work I do is because I need the reminders as well. I’m right with you: learning, stumbling, getting back up, and taking another crack at it.

Soulpreneurship is a bangin’ way to live and because we’re in the business of putting our heart’s truth out into the world, it can often feel like our face is smooshed right up in our stuff and it’s dang uncomfortable.

At least, that’s how it feels for me.

Sunday morning was a melt-down moment for me… do you have these?

Handling the Everything is Wrong Day

Once a month, when my body is swollen and my boobs hurt and ALL THE THINGS have been piling up I have what we lovingly refer to as my ‘everything is wrong day’.

Some months, it slips by with barely a whisper and, some months, it whips through like the storm that was blowing outside.

As I sit here this morning, sipping my egg nog, listening to soft music, and writing my heart to you, it’s hard to believe just how BAD it felt to be in my body on Sunday morning.

But, love, let me tell you, it was bad.

I got out of bed because I couldn’t stand to be still for one. second. longer. even though a big part of me just wanted to pull up the covers, stay in bed, and feel sorry for myself.

I started storming around, doing laundry, watering the tree, tidying up… doing the things I normally do, but, inside, I was fuming. There was no love in my heart.

Taking It Out on the Ones We Love Most

Then, my poor husband made the poor choice of waking up and asking, while I was standing there with a laundry basket full of laundry to hang up, “How’re you doing?”

And whooooosh! The dams unleashed the flow…

“I’m NOT okay. The house is a mess, the tree is naked, the rooms aren’t ready for the kids, I lost my earring, the stupid video wouldn’t transfer, the cart closes today, NOBODY LOVES ME, I’m doing a workshop tomorrow, the Christmas cards aren’t done, and you aren’t doing anything because you’re in the stupid play and nobody’s helping me and nobody cares but me and nobody takes action to make the house better but me and… and… AND! EVERYTHING! IS! WRONG!!!”

… and then I paused and glared at the big, yummy man I love so much who was tucked into bed with the sheets pulled up and a slight deer-in-the-headlights-but-also-I-totally-know-what’s-happening-here look on his face. And then I snarled…

“Aren’t you glad you asked?!!”

Learning to Be Your Own Witness

And then we both smiled. Because pity parties don’t last long around here. And he said, “Yes, because you clearly needed to get that out.”

And I humphed and started hanging clothes and I was still darn grumpy inside. But, he was right. I did feel better and I did need to get it out and I did need to hear just how upset I was and how overwhelmed I was feeling.

I needed to feel sorry for myself and be okay with that. I needed to stop fighting and let it flow. I needed to BE with what was real for me in that moment and ALLOW it to process.

(thankfully, I’ve learned how to hold my witness position even when my body is lost in storms)

It started to get better. Though, let’s be clear, I was still grumpy. I didn’t wanna go the play on Sunday night and I did want to see and support him on closing night.

Wanting to MAKE Things Happen

What I want to do, when I’m in that place, is sit around and feel sorry for myself and try to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN THE WAY THAT I WANT THEM.

I *want* to be micro-manager of the Universe. I want to wear that badge and have that control and feel that power.

But, of course, I can’t. Not any more. That illusory power is a lie and it doesn’t work.

And I’ve been in this game long enough now to know that it doesn’t work. Even if I really want to pretend that it’s true.

So, instead of micro-managing and trying to control what I can’t control, I let go of everything I couldn’t control and focused on what I could.

I edited, uploaded, and optimized my video.

I planned out more of the Social Media Strategy Planning Workshop I delivered Monday in The Academy.

I went to the play. And it was lovely. And I’m so proud of my big, yummy man. He looked gorgeous and powerful on stage and it was delicious.

Let Go of What You Can’t Control – the Power of Surrender

I let the rest go. I did my best to remember that handling all the details is God’s job anyway.

I gratefully went to bed on Sunday night because, for me, there are days when the best part of the day is slipping into a warm bed and getting wrapped in a snuggle.

Monday morning I woke up early, finished my prep for the workshop, created the slides that had downloaded overnight, celebrated those who chose to enrol in The Academy, had my Mastermind call, and then delivered the crap out of that 5-hour workshop.

And that, beautiful soul, is the way that it works sometimes.

Sometimes, we have to have a meltdown to be reminded that we aren’t in control, we can only do what we can do, and that life flows best when we surrender the control and outcomes and worry to God.

A decade ago… two decades ago… I can remember when the ‘everything is wrong’ day would devastate me. I would just lie in bed and feel… horrible. Oppressed. Powerless.

Shortening Your Recovery Time

It would take me out of the game for days.

It felt empty and bleak.

Now I know that even when it feels empty and bleak, it isn’t.

I know that there is magic swirling. 

I know that I am beloved.

And I know that it’s all an illusion that I *should* be able to control it.

So, yeah, I still have ‘everything is wrong’ days and I am definitely less than perfect, and I’m so grateful to be on this journey with you because the alternatives just aren’t that appealing.

I mean, if I wasn’t doing *this*, what on earth would I be doing?!!

I’ve got a Mission and I’ve got a Destiny and, yeah, it can be messy af on the road of Destiny, and there are days when it doesn’t feel good AT ALL.

It’s All Part of the Soulpreneur Process

And what I’ve learned is that it’s ALL PART OF THE PROCESS.

As long as we’re moving toward our goals and vision.

As long as we’re picking ourselves up and taking one more step.

As long as we’re LEARNING to care for our selves and our souls in deeper and more nurturing ways.

As long as we stay in the game… we’re winning.

So, my sister soulpreneur, I lift my glass of eggnog to you and wish you a powerful and magical week and if you need anything, let me know.

I’m back in my power and we all need people who are in their power to lift us up when we’re feeling anything but powerful.

Blessings to you, sweet soul.

If you’re feeling pulled betwixt and between and you’re not sure why, let’s talk. There is a better way to live than feeling out of control in your own life.

I’m here to support you as your grow your dreams.

Here’s How You Can Go Deeper:

#1 

3 Essentials to Build a Successful, Profitable – and Sustainable! – Coaching or Soulpreneur Business

In this powerful training – that comes complete with an 18-page workbook! – I share with you what I’ve learned about what to focus on – and what not to focus on! – when you’re building to your first six-figures in your soul-based service business.

Go here and register to get instant access.

If you just know, deep in your belly, that your business isn’t living up to its potential, this training will shine light on your path forward. It’ll lay out your next steps and how you can get moving toward the success you yearn for.

Register for the 3 Essentials to Build a Success, Profitable – and Sustainable! – Coaching or Soulpreneur Businessright now – before the day whisks you away – and get immediate access.

#2  From January 1st to 15th, we’re doing a…

15-Day Pyjama Planning Party Challenge + Virtual Retreat 

It’s a full 15-days of organizing to get you ready for a solid and profitable 2020. 

Right smack dab in the middle of that Planning Party, I’ll be running a 3-day virtual planning retreat, exclusively for everyone who has joined the Seasons of Success.

Register for the Party here.

That’s right! For the first time in 8 years, I’m not going to Ste. Anne’s in January to run my luxury retreat. This year, I’m bringing the strategies and planning straight into the comfort of your home.

I’m excited for the magic that we’ll create. Stay tuned… I’ll be releasing more details as we get closer to the date. Just make sure you block off January 9-11 on your calendar so you don’t miss a thing.

Vanessa Long

Vanessa Long is creator of the Seasons of Success and author of Discovering Your Passionate Purpose. Focused on providing straight-forward, no b.s. solutions, strategies, and support to move you from where you are to where you yearn to be. It’s time to tap into your purpose and build a life that expresses all of who you were designed to be.